Sunday March 9, 2003

We have flies.

Not a few flies but clusters of flies. Fly battalions. Fly platoons. Fly divisions. With another flight of flies waiting in the wings to take their place.

At the first sign of a warm, sunny day their numbers blossom to staggering and annoying numbers. Window sills fill, they kamakazee into coffee cups, jam themselves into light fixtures, and die. They die everywhere. Mid-flight myocardial infarctions, flourescent fixture fizzle, and dog dish demise. Parked on the ceiling they die and magically remain hanging.

Mom's house has flies. It is a log cabin and flies just love log cabins. It is from her that I learned how to eradicate great masses of flies. Dustbuster. A couple of minutes brandishing a dustbuster will clear dozens of flies, alive or dead. Toss the lot outside and hopefully they'll freeze or die of boredom. Usually we empty it outside and head back in to catch another batch.

Rather than flying away screaming in horror the flies seem to enjoy it, even crowding each other to get sucked up first. I'm starting to suspect that this isn't helping to get rid of them. Most likely it's the fly equivalent of Magic Mountain Fun Ride.

Bzzz, buzz, bzzz...yeeee...haaawww!             *PHOOOOMP*

After being tossed out they probably line up to get back in. Only a week to live, gotta catch that crazy ride just one more time.


Eric Vitiello • 2003-03-10 07:53am

If you think using a dustbuster to eradicate flies is fun, you should try using a shop-vac.
Jerry • 2003-03-10 08:18am

I bet!

We have central vac and while it's a pain to setup and unwind all of the hose it is a most gratifying experience.

I wish I could find where they are coming from, I'd setup a permanent vacuum hose, infrared beams, motion detectors, the works.



TedHieron • 2003-03-11 09:53am

I take it you didn't see the Valley News story about cluster flies the other day? It was pretty informative.
Jerry • 2003-03-12 03:20pm

Nope, missed it. Any tips on how to avoid getting them in the first place?

TedHieron • 2003-03-13 06:45pm

Yes, there were. ;-)
TedHieron • 2003-03-14 12:11pm

I found my paper copy of that article, but I couldn't find it online for you. Here's a similar story, though, that describes how to get rid of them:
http://www1.uwex.edu/ces/pubs/pdf/A2090.PDF